Onehow

 That same fearlessness 

accompanied by sadness 

But it's all about gone

as something like awe returns,

my soul becomes ready to leave, 

only it doesn't. 

The recorded rainfall is so distant now

but if I reach out my hand 

I can almost touch it

I am so close to the liberation of my soul

The reality of flesh and bone

I don't know what I'm doing 

I just know I don't want to leave like this 

Don't want to go out alone 

Through dreams I awaken 

With the long loss of a heartbeat 

Followed by a strange numbness

I watch the third person view

darkness rushes over me 

And I am swallowed by it 

When I come to my senses 

I'm on my feet

My bedding is all around me 

A murky swamp 

The sound of falling creatures 

From the deep hole inside my chest 

And, with a gasp,

At last I breathe! 

I wake in regret. 

But it doesn't have to be this way. 

You make it this way 

because you still don't know any better. 

Be thankful for the experience