"What Never Was"

 If in all false sentients be
Human duality withdraws 
And pain is to choose differently 
Beset with what never was

If god creates purposelessly 
I am unburdened by his laws 
And all becomes debauchery 
Beset with what never was 

And if I could in seance see
Without effect and without cause 
I am beset with what could be 
And what never was. 

The only meaning I am fleeing 
The meaning of all my flaws 
It is the dichotomy of believing
The finality that never was