"Slight Of Hand"

12/11/2011

Sometimes you know where choices will take you

How the smallest detail can change the entire idea

Never stop trying to understand

Never stop trying to know God's plan

Sometimes when I think He is behind me

My hands move to do His will
I try to give credit where credit is due
What then will I have if it all belonged to you?

I reach for glory, but I don't ask for help

Because if I did, it wouldn't be mine

It would belong to someone else

Selfish though my words have become,

I never said I was the reverse

And I planned on writing a different poem

It is no coincidence that I wrote this first

For slight of hand will cost me many

Thousands of tears, tears I'd pawn

Were they not yours before I had words?

Were they not yours before I learned to curse?

For you, my one heart wicked once broken

I'm alive and that's proof that things can change

I hope you'll remember me as someone who wouldn't 

Allow others to drink their poison for them

But I ask you now, 

In what feels like our last moments

Was I the poison or was I the cure?

Was I wicked or was I pure?

Your heart may be where I long to belong

But my heart is different, not much like a home

And I believe that she must be safer

Wherever, without me, she is or isn't

What a mess, what a mess, I tell you

I want to clean up, and sleep unafraid

Won't you help me, and share my glory

Won't you help me, and share my shit

Though I hide in secrets, lull me to bed

And take the blood that for you I have bled

Keep me safe, asleep on the ground

Help me or never again make a sound