Failures

10/23/2011

I'm stronger than this.

How does one live

When failures amount to all that is?

I've lost my edge,

My greater purpose,

The one that I tried to create,

It was the quest to find myself,

It has left me bereft

Of both passion and purpose

I know I took a wrong step,

Somewhere along the path

How else can I explain 

All that is and all that's left?

I memorize the highways and signs

That always take me to the same place in the end,
A house,
A place to be welcome and safe

Without answers and reasons

And God smiles down on our roof

There is still honor for casualties of war

But I'm not that person,
I know I must survive,

Because there's still something
I've yet to do.

I gave a home to a guest 

That did not need another place to stay,

When complication turned to error,

I could not save the night or day

Sometimes I listen, 
Sometimes I talk,

But I should have stayed in church,

I should have seen things for what they're worth

I should have found a home in different hearts,

I should have turned from wickedness,

When I was clean,

I feel so cold these days, and lost

Like I will never be able to be me
Nor who others would expect me to become
Small steps starting with discipline
And the ceiling concealing the above

.

But I vow, if given the opportunity,

I will learn to love,
And I will learn to see clearly

All the beauties and truths of this life.
It's a gift not given in vain
We all have something to offer
I won't give up so easily next time.